Romantic Relationships and Expectations

Tonight I watched 台北二一, a Taiwanese movie, with some friends. A thank you to Siraya for putting together these viewings of Taiwanese movies.

I won't go into details about the movie or what it meant, since I'm sure others can do a much better job of it than me. And I usually like be entertained by movies than to be made to think and analyze. However, for me personally, what really struck me about this movie is the various romantic relationships. I say romantic relationships instead of love because I think love is too general a term. Romantic relationships can come about and continue for many reasons beyond love, such as expectations, duty, lust, attraction, respect, loneliness, fear, and more. Many romantic relationships come to be and end in this movie for a variety of reasons. And based on the stories of in the movie and what I've seen in real life and my own experience, I would like to offer the theory that expectations form a big part to romantic relationships.

What I mean is that why, how, and when a romantic relationship comes to be is not as important as the person's expectations of a romantic relationship. Or maybe it is encapsulated in that person's expectations. I believe that everyone has some personal expectation of a romantic relationship. One that may not be possible to express. However, when those expectations are met, a romantic relationship will occur. Sometimes, someone may even fulfill a set of expectations completely different and unknown, and yet that fulfillment may spark the requirements for a romantic relationship. Timing is important, but timing could also just be the state of your expectations. In order for a romantic relationship to be successful then, is for you to be in a situation with another person that fulfills your romantic expectations and the others as well. And when the situations no longer fulfills one of the person's expectations, the romantic relationship withers.

However, our expectations are not static. Our understanding of such things also evolve. This evolution could be more forgiving, or more self serving. Our emotions and desires are not guaranteed to evolve in a manner that benefits us and others. We might lower our expectations, or rerank the priorities of our expectations. The female lead complained about difficulties in communicating with her boyfriend. Yet in the end, I don't think their communication has improved. Rather, they both grew to better accept each other's expectations of a romantic relationship.

In conclusion, I don't have one. ^_^ Except maybe to offer my own interpretations. Try to determine your expectations. If you are in a relationship, try to also take into account your partner's expectations. If you are single and want a relationship, think about how to make those expectations come true. Even if one of those expectations is that love should come spontaneously and by surprise, you can increase your odds by putting yourself out there so that there is a better chance that that particular expecation can become fulfilled. And finally, be honest about which ones of your expectations are truly important and necessary, and those that are icing on the cake.